


By the Skin of Our Teeth

by Lady Divine (fhartz91)



Series: Outside Edge [56]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Hockey, Humor, M/M, Mention of blood, Teenagers, and tooth pulling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/Lady%20Divine
Summary: When one of Westerville's Pee-Wee players has a loose tooth that needs to go, Sebastian devises a convoluted - and disgusting - plan to help the boy remove it. And Kurt does not approve.





	By the Skin of Our Teeth

“Are you _really_ going to do this?” Kurt asks, right hand half covering his eyes, watching while his boyfriend ties a piece of floss to his pee-wee captain’s last remaining baby tooth. The thing has been hanging by a single thread of flesh for weeks, the gum supporting it swollen and red. The boy’s parents have tried everything to get it out short of sawing it out of his head, but nothing has worked.

Roy, the boy in question, is fearless on the ice, but he’s terrified of the dentist. When he found out his mom had made him an appointment for the following afternoon, he begged Sebastian to help him.

And this is what Sebastian came up with.

What he has devised is disgusting beyond belief, and more than a little bit dangerous (in Kurt’s opinion. Hockey players seem to have a different definition of the word _dangerous_ ). His stomach turns Biellmann’s just thinking about it. The only reason he’s opted to stick around is because there needs to be something close to parental supervision overseeing this fiasco.

Someone with the presence of mind to dial 9-1-1 if necessary.

“Of course, we are.” Sebastian gives the piece of floss a tug, watching as the tooth wiggles in response. “It’s a rite of passage for hockey players to lose their baby teeth doing what they love, and that’s playing hockey.”

The rest of the team, gathered around them in the locker room for moral support, gives a rousing cheer, but Kurt shakes his head. “Do you make up these rules as you go along?” he asks. “Or are these written down somewhere?”

“Hockey lore, passed down by word of mouth.”

“How is that even remotely possible if you guys keep yanking out your teeth in this barbaric manner?”

“We’re old school.” Sebastian takes the free end of the floss and starts wrapping it around a hockey puck. “We use AOL messenger.”

“I think that might say more about you than this horrific ritual.”

As the black puck turns white with the floss wrapped around it, Kurt feels the tension rise in the small room, multiple layers of excitement whirling together as anticipation soars to a fevered pitch. You’d think they were about to watch a bootleg copy of the latest MCU blockbuster, not even in the theaters yet, the way these kids are biting their lips, eyes glued to Sebastian’s every move. But Kurt, more anxious than impressed, quickly considers the logistics of the feat Sebastian plans to attempt. This isn’t going to be a simple matter of tying a piece of floss to a doorknob and slamming the door shut. Sebastian will be shooting that floss-covered puck out the door of the locker room and into the hallway, with the hopes that Roy’s tooth will be attached to it and not his mouth in the end. Sebastian’s slapshot is legendary. He holds the record for most speed and power at the high school level in Westerville, Ohio.

Kurt’s afraid that if he gives it all he’s got, he’ll rip the poor boy’s head right off.

He’s mentioned that, several times as a matter of fact, but it’s an issue that doesn’t seem to bother anyone else but him.

Seeing as the tiny mob of hockey players are bouncing on their blades to watch this tooth get torn out of Roy’s mouth, they’ll probably be tickled to no end if his head comes off with it.

“Okay …” Sebastian ties a knot when he’s confident he’s wrapped the puck sufficiently, dangling it in the air to make sure it’s not going anywhere. “You ready?”

“Ready,” Roy says.

“Good.”

“This is never going to work,” Kurt grumbles.

“Of course, it is.”

“This is going to be a disaster. A bloody lawsuit of a disaster.”

“It’s a good thing my uncle’s a lawyer, then. Now, brace yourself.” Sebastian drops the puck to the ground and Roy takes a defensive stance. “Alright, everyone! Helmets on and stand back!”

The team splits down the middle, racing to opposite sides of the locker room, vying for a spot with the best view that will keep them out of shooting range. Unwilling to mess up his hair - or his health - by borrowing a sweaty, ill-fitting helmet, Kurt meanders to the left, sliding behind the safety of the bathroom door.

“Okay, guys!” Sebastian grabs his stick, grinning wider than the entire team combined, probably having more fun with this than they are. “On the count of three! One …”

“One!” the team echoes, leaning forward as far as they dare.

“Two …”

“Two!”

“Three!”

“Three!”

Sebastian brings his stick back, raising the blade to shoulder height, then sweeps it down fast. Kurt hears a crack as the blade comes in contact with the puck, then a loud thwack! as the puck hits the wall of the penalty box outside. Realizing it might ricochet back the direction it came, he leaps further into the bathroom, feeling minorly guilty that he left a room full of little kids to fend for themselves against a hockey puck flinging around the room at Mach 10.

They’re wearing helmets. That’s a small comfort to him.

Kurt can’t see a thing, but the clatter of the puck is immediately joined by two other sounds – an “Oof!” as Roy flies forward and lands on his stomach, and a loud “Ow!” that doesn’t sound like Roy at all. Whacks and smacks are replaced by the confused murmuring of small children, and Kurt ventures out of hiding. He scans the confines of the locker room, trying to decide if anything went right.

It looks like a bomb went off.

Roy is lying face down on the floor at Sebastian’s feet.

The team is also on the floor, having dropped to the ground to take cover from the rogue puck, bags and equipment scattered, victims of the fray.

Off in a corner, a boy has a hand to his face, blood pouring down his chin behind a cracked cage.

Sebastian, standing in the midst of all this, looks stunned.

“What happened!?” Kurt asks.

“I’m … I’m not sure,” Sebastian admits.

“Is anyone hurt!?”

Sebastian makes a _don’t know_ noise.

Kids start rising to their feet, coming out of hiding when they see it’s safe.

“Look!” one of the bystanders yells. “Here’s the tooth!”

“Uh … but it’s not mine,” Roy mumbles.

“What?” Kurt rushes forward to help the boy up and examine the damage to his mouth. When Roy lifts his head, Kurt wishes he hadn’t. The boy smiles at him, his tongue toying with the gap where the tooth still remains, hanging by less of a thread but holding on nonetheless.

“Your tooth is still there?” Sebastian joins them, gawking in disbelief.

“Yup,” Roy declares proudly.

“Then, whose tooth is that?” Kurt asks, pointing at the tooth on the floor that he refuses to touch.

“Mine,” the little boy with the bloody chin says, stepping forward.

“Uh …” Sebastian looks from the bloodied boy to a seething Kurt. “Was it loose, at least?”

“Not really,” the boy says, walking past them to retrieve his tooth. “Doesn’t matter. If I put it under my pillow, maybe I’ll get a quarter!”

“Yeah!” the other kids agree, lights springing in their eyes as they all come up with the same masterful plan.

Kurt glares at Sebastian. Sebastian shrugs.

“I know what you’re going to say, Kurt …”

“Oh, you have no idea …”

“… but you have to admit, you were wrong about one thing.”

Kurt’s jaw drops open. He crosses his arms, dialing up the fire in his glare till it could melt steel. “And that was …?”

Sebastian snickers. “Technically, it did work.”


End file.
